One of the greatest truths is that life is difficult. Once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted the fact that life is difficult no longer matters (Peck, 2006).
Instead of moaning about the enormity of problems and burdens we should try to fully see that life is a series of problems. Yet, these problems don't represent a unique kind of affliction that has somehow been visited upon us, our families or nation. It is the whole process of meeting and solving problems that life has its meaning. Problems are the cutting edge that distinguishes between success and failure. It is only because of problems that we grow mentally and spiritually. When we desire to encourage the growth of the human spirit we encourage the human capacity to solve problems. It is through the pain of confronting and resolving problems that human-beings learn. In Benjamin Franklin's words, "those things that hurt instruct." So, being wise means welcoming the pain of problems; problems call forth our wisdom.
According to Peck (2006), rather than trying to avoid the emotional suffering inherent in problems we should inculcate in ourselves the means of achieving spiritual and mental health. Given the necessity for suffering and the need to face problems, the main means of experiencing the pain of problems constructively are (Peck, 2006):
- Delaying gratification: This refers to the process of scheduling the pain and pleasure of life in such a way as to enhance the pleasure by meeting and experiencing the pain first and getting it over with. It is the only decent way to live.
- Taking responsibility: We can't solve life's problems except by solving them. Only if we can say that this is our problem and it is up to us to solve the problem rather than seeing it as caused by others and social circumstances beyond our control we can deal with life's difficulties.
- Not escaping from reality: We must learn that adult life is a series of personal choices and decisions. To the extent that we don't accept this we may feel ourselves as victims.
- Dedication to truth: The more clearly we see the reality of the world the better we are to deal with the world. Our view of reality is like a map with which to negotiate the terrain of life. Even if our maps are to be accurate we have to continually revise them. As the world itself is constantly changing the process of making revisions might be painful as well. Rather than defending an outmoded view of the world we should expend our energy in revising the map. Transference is the set of ways of perceiving and responding to the world developed in childhood which is no longer appropriately transferred into the adult environment.
- Openness to challenge: Life is a never-ending stringent self-examination. As we know the world through our relationship to it we must not only examine it but also examine the examiner. There must also be a willingness to be personally challenged as by only exposing our maps to challenge we can ensure that our maps are valid.
In a nutshell, to confront reality, we should develop a capacity for openness and truthfulness.
